Posts tagged being rude

A Six-Step Plan for Blowing Off Tourists

The origin of this philosophy was actually from Washington D.C., so I thank the congressional aide to our south for imparting such wisdom upon me.

The only necessary disclaimer is that I am a  terrible photographer.

Seriously, I was extremely pleased with the advent of Facebook if for no other reason than that I no longer had to take pictures to remember the occasion (or have things to fill those horribly gifted frames I get three times a year). 

The sad reality is that any attempt at photography results in blurred images, cut off limbs, and the capture of unflattering facial expressions. 

Admittedly, ‘philosophy’ and ‘wisdom’ are probably a little too…distinguished…of words to describe the following:

Step 1: Tourist/friend/passerby asks you to take a picture of their group.

Step 2: You hesitate, knowing it will turn out terribly.

Step 3: You reluctantly agree, fearful of what will happen when they examine the photo in the picture viewer.

Step 4: You take the picture, it expectedly turns out badly.

Step 5: Awkward pause – do you wait to have them ask you to retake it? Will they even bother asking? Are they potentially blind and won’t be able to tell the difference?

I’m a rather impatient person so Step 5 always bothered me in this process. The good deed of the day was accomplished by even agreeing in the first part. Bonus points for the fact that I was even asked to assist in the first part – implying that I seem like a nice person, score!

When living in New York (and if you do you know this well), this situation is not uncommon. Despite my best abilities to avoid major tourist areas, they’re sneaky creatures and still appear out of nowhere, tapping you on the shoulder, and inciting Step 1.

Sick of this ordeal, and namely Step 5, I received an important bit of wisdom to deflect such awkwardness. Read closely as I give you…

Step 6: After snapping the photo, you glance at the photo viewer briefly (whether or not the real photo has loaded is irrelevant) and expressively say “Oh it’s really good, I promise!”

I recommend this for anyone, because it allows several things to happen:

Primarily, you now have the ability to make a swift exit from the situation, avoiding follow up photos, conversations on neighborhood dining suggestions, or attempting to explain the subway system to foreigners with [at best] broken English.

If you decide to ignore my advice to GTFO, Step 6 has additional benefits. If you’re like me and the picture was, in fact, not at all good, the unsuspecting tourists will promptly assume you’re crazy and not even consider asking you to retake the photo.

I’ve been relying on this method for just a few months now and it has already proven to be extremely useful. Now if I could just not look like a competent photo-taker and avoid said process all together…

…any suggestions?